Hope for a Child

This story goes back to when Jayne was nearly 2 and leads up to God's encouragements of just moments ago. It may get a bit long, but I hope it will be worth the ride and give another woman in the world some hope and encouragement as well.

Jayne was nearly 2 and we had always wanted 2 children. Naturally, be began "trying" for another one. We waited for nearly a year when I got the same nausea and other symptoms of pregnancy that had signaled my first. For 6 weeks we waited for a positive result. It took that long to get a positive with Jayne, so nothing seemed out of the ordinary. When no positive came we went to the doctor. I was not pregnant. It was devastating. I couldn't understand how my body could play such a horrible trick on me. With the difficulties we faced trying to get pregnant we decided to be happy with our one son and give him the best only childhood we could. We were very honestly happy to have one.

Shortly after that my cycle got out of control. We had made the decision not to have more children so I agreed to go on the pill to have a regular cycle. All was well for nearly a year. We were working toward paying off our debt so I could stay home and homeschool and we found our church home.

One day, out of nowhere, I had a sudden desire to have that one more child that we had wanted. I waved it off as a passing whim. It did not go away. I didn't want to sway my husband in this because I was still happy to have one. One night I knew I had to tell him about this thought. I was surprised to find out that he had had the same thought. He didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to sway me. We discussed the pill and decided to wait a few months to stop it. We prayed about this future endeavor.

A few short weeks later I started to get withdrawals from the week off the medication each month. My doctor told me to just keep taking the hormone constantly and not worry about the periods I would be missing. We didn't feel right about that and I went off the pills. We felt that perhaps God wanted to bless us with a child earlier. We rejoiced and were so excited.

One year passed… two… more. Nearly every one of my friends were blessed with children during that time. For me it was hard, especially in the beginning. I didn't understand. I cried a lot. Maybe God didn't have a child for us. As time went by the news of newly expecting mothers hurt less. We put our efforts and prayers into our mission preparation.

Last night I prayed to God. I told Him that I have struggled with this. I told him that I trust Him in this. I asked Him to give me a child. I told Him that I would ask him for a sign of His answer to me but that I wouldn't even know what kind of sign to ask for. I went to sleep.

At 7 am the alarm went off. I said my morning prayers as I try to always do. I laid in silence for a while listening to the birds. Then, as one bird chirped, I heard Isaiah. That shocked me a bit and I thought, "what?!" Again I heard Isaiah. I rolled right over and turned to Isaiah. I found myself at Isaiah 1:19 If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land. I was so encouraged but I did not know if God meant it as a child or simply that we will "eat the good things of the land."

The day went on as normal. We found out that we had missed a huge section in our online training. I worked at it over the course of the day. I figured I would work on it instead of reading the book I have for review on my other blog. Them's the breaks sometimes. As the day went on I felt more and more like I needed to finish every bit of that training so I would have no excuse not to read this book. The feeling was strange to me because I wasn't exactly enthralled in the book at this point.

I put my sweet son to bed and lay down with my book (A Life of Miracles). I finished the last paragraph of the chapter I was on because I had to put it down without finishing the night before. I turned the page and began reading the next chapter. The story might as well have been the one you have just read. From the years of waiting to the feeling that things would happen soon and then there is nothing. She had a similar message from God, with confirmation later from a speaker they were listening to that you can take God's promises to the bank. She gave this up to God and trusted in the promise He had made. Weeks later she became pregnant and they had a healthy baby boy. I prayed.

I fully believe that God has another child for me. That this is His promise for me. I don't need to wonder anymore. I don't know when but I trust my God and will wait patiently for His perfect timing. In the meantime I will continue to be willing and obedient to my Father and my Maker.